


Best part of waking up

by Tilly_the_Mouse



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, avengerkink prompt, crack!fill, do not mess with the coffee of superheroes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-13
Updated: 2013-06-13
Packaged: 2017-12-14 20:57:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/841299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tilly_the_Mouse/pseuds/Tilly_the_Mouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fill for a prompt on Avengerkink that I felt morally obligated to do. So be warned, it could get crazy. Prompt- Someone gets the wrong kind of coffee</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best part of waking up

“WHO THE FUCK DID THE SHOPPING?” Came a loud shout from the kitchen. It was early in the morning, and Tony was the first awake, staring bewildered at a red tub before him. Clint, awoke by the noise, jumped blearily from the rafters.

“It was Cap’s turn right? Where’s the coff-… what is this?” By then Natasha, Steve and Bruce had joined them, all staring at the offensive package on the counter. Pepper strolled by, with her empty and waiting mug, took one glance, and continued on, mad laughter trailing behind her.

“Why are we all just standing here? Isn’t someone going to make it?” Steve asked, confused by the situation, and even more confused by everyone’s angry glare now directed towards him.

“You did this.” Natasha hissed dangerously, and prowled away to presumably find something more suitable. Steve gave an embarrassed shrug, blushing as he set about to make the coffee.

“Sorry guys, I didn’t realize everyone would be so picky. It was on sale and coffee is coffee right? Who knows, maybe you’ll like it better than that ridiculous expensive blend you all have settled on.” He tried, smiling as bright as he could for being the first thing in the morning. Seeing as he was the leader, they allowed him the benefit of the doubt and accepted a cup.

“…I immediately regret every decision I’ve ever made in my life.” Steve said, contritely frowning to himself. Clint had made quite a spectacle of spitting into the sink before he stomped off to brush the taste out.

“GODDAMMIT STEVE, THE BEST PART OF WAKING UP ISN’T THIS BULLSHIT IN MY CUP!” Tony yelled as Darcy, Jane and Thor made their way to the coffee maker.

“I don’t get that reference!” Steve cried out, trying a last effort to defend himself. Darcy, being surprisingly alert for the morning, took one look at the red, plastic tub and snatched onto Jane’s arm, shaking her gravely in warning. Unfortunately Thor didn’t receive the message in time.

“…Is this some sort of cruel jape? I enjoy jest as much as the next fellow, but this… This has made a mockery of I, Thor, Prince of Asgard and all I hold dear. Have I unwittingly caused undo suffering or offense to someone?” Thor looked around at his comrades, confused and hurt. Steve sighed, already feeling the headache building.

“Sorry Thor… it was on sale.” Unable to feel any more stressed or down, he only put the tiniest effort into dodging the flying coffee maker Jane had managed to launch at his head in anger. He was more surprised than anything, seeing as how she was uncaffinated and Stark had bought the most ostentatious, thereby heavy, machine on the market.

“I’LL KILL YOU FOR THIS STEVE ROGERS!” The tiny astrophysicist shrieked before attempting to launch herself at him, her cries being drowned out by the rest of the yelling that had erupted. And all of it directed at him.

A sharp whistle cut through the air, effectively stopping everyone in their tracks.

“Now I think we’re all being a little unreasonable here.” Darcy said, stepping forward to add some space between the tiny mob and its targeted victim.

“The good Captain tried, he failed miserably, but hey what’s done is done. How about we all just go out for some Starbucks before we get some red, white, and blue blood on our hands, kay?” He began to thank her, but she stopped him before he could.

“Oh no, Steve. You fucked with my coffee, you fucked with ALL of our coffee. You. Are. Paying. Ja feel?” Steve briefly remembered that she had mentioned she had a tattoo of a caffeine molecule behind her ear, ‘My one true love.’ She had joked, and felt appropriately terrified.

“Ja definitely feel.” He mumbled in resignation, pulling out his wallet as Clint and Natasha rejoined them. They made their way in cold silence down to the lobby, but hardly made it outside before a swarm of mutated reptiles interrupted them with the call to assemble, which they only did grudgingly.

By the time they defeated the enemy, coaxed the Hulk(who for some reason, was particularly irate that day), cleaned the mess, checked out with medical and finished the debriefing, it was closer to midnight than was comfortable. They sat around the kitchen bar sadly, wondering what to do. No coffee shops were still open, and the brands they sold in the store were so unappealing that Bruce stomped off in resignation.

Pepper breezed right past them and delicately placed a new package in shiny gold foil amongst them. The sight was so beautiful that Clint actually started crying, while Jane and Darcy scrambled to open the package to get a pot brewing.

“Sorry that was all I could find on such short notice, I’ll have the proper stuff stocked in full by tomorrow.” She chimed, sauntering off to her bedroom. Tony, attention no longer on the situation, jogged behind her, claiming her hand to kiss his way up her arm. The others meanwhile had settled in to their first cup.

“There is nothing more satisfying that has ever been inside me.” Darcy sighed, earning nods of agreement from Natasha, Jane and Thor. Steve, taking his first sip, nearly let a tear slip out over the taste. He had been so damn wrong. He felt settled and contented again, until another thought was brought to the forefront of his mind.

“…You all realize this means we’re not going to be able to sleep right?”


End file.
